Friday, February 12, 2010

A new developer framework, .NOT

I am so pleased to be able to tell you that .NET is a thing of the past and a new developer framework will shortly be launched called .NOT.
This new .NOT framework represents ground breaking abstraction technologies that removes the need for a software developer to do any work. According to feedback received from many software developers they really don't want to do any work at all, but they still want to get paid for it.
The .NOT framework allows this new bread of .NOT developers to simply sit in front of their computer and the code is generated for them. According to one developer, 'One of the fantastic things about the .NOT framework is that it generates exactly the code I would have written'. From playing around with the new .NOT framework it is clear this is the case, the code it generates is superbly scattered with memory leaks and unhandled exceptions, it is just like it was written by an overpaid .NET developer.
Other fantastic features of the .NOT framework include a built in delayed boot time, this enables even the simplest of applications to take at least 30 seconds to load. This delayed boot time features makes it look like your .NOT application must have taken a lot of work and involve a lot of code.
Then there is the .NOT presentation layer which is generated to look like the .NOT application layout was created by a drunk monkey. It is fabulous the way none of the window contents are aligned and the grotesque use of gaudy color is almost unbelievable.
I think my favorite feature is the .NOT installer technology, every .NOT application is compressed into a zip file along with a readme file explaining how to change 5 random registry entries, at least one of which is guaranteed to cause your computer to crash after a reboot.
Overall I can see this innovative .NOT framework being adopted by nearly every developer over the coming few years. I mean why write your own rubbish code if you can have it generated for you!